The Wonder of Snowflakes

 

As I sit by the window and watch the snowflakes fall, I am struck by the wonder of their ‘being’. At this moment, each snowflake is fluffy and light, slowly drifting towards the ground. Tiny. Random. Seemingly inconsequential. Seemingly lacking in force and impact.  

Ultimately,                                      

                resting lightly                           

and then                           

     disappearing        

                            on the ground.

But each snowflake does have a force, an impact. And that value is only seen with patience and time. As each delicate flake comes to rest, it adds its being into the greater picture – creating an astounding carpet of white. The power of each snowflake gathered together to effect a magnificent change on the world below. A beautiful rebirth.

This observation about the nature of snowflakes to effect a dramatic change in the world is surely nothing new. But it serves as a lovely image to represent the changes I am experiencing in my life here in Quebec. Each new step I take, each experience, each learning represents a snowflake; and all of these seemingly disconnected “flocons de neige” have been gently building up inside me, quietly, almost imperceptibly, changing my “internal landscape”. And now, when I shift my focus from the falling snowflakes around me to the ground below, I see that I am being “reborn”. 

What are some of these "snowflakes" in my life? 

My first was my decision to live as a Possibilitarian rather than an Anticipator...

In my past, I was tied to worrying about the consequences of each decision. I believed I gained power from trying to anticipate what might happen with every step I might take.  The result was that I took fewer and fewer steps. I huddled in place and attempted to protect myself against imagined disappointments and hurt. When I decided to come to Quebec on an impulse, I pushed aside the Anticipator who was holding me back and --

-- embraced the Possibilitarian in me  

who wants to live life to the fullest! 

I chose then, as I choose again each day, to be hopeful about the possibilities that the future holds, while accepting that I can’t know what lies ahead. This is perhaps the best thing I have done for myself. And it has been incredibly freeing!

I have been determined to push myself to “be different” here in Quebec, and for me that means trying new things. I have said “YES” where I might have previously said “no”. I have pushed my cautious nature aside and entered a mid-life  

"Stage of Experimentation” 

(nothing illegal, mind you.) 

So, what have I tried? Well, for the past 3.5 months I’ve been attending school full-time in a French-immersion environment (woa.) I’m learning the piano – and loving it (woohoo!) I’m reaching out to make new friends... speaking in French (bien sûr!) I’m creating my own blog (hooray!) And, most recently, I went skating for the first time in decades (gulp!) on Granby’s Lac Boivin. 

My main aim in all of this has been to take chances and be prepared to make mistakes. (An ambition, by the way, that runs against my nature.) But, after all, I remind myself, I’m an Anglo from the West in a wintery Francophone world, I'm bound to mess-up, even take a few embarrassing tumbles. But my desire to learn remains true. And I’ve been in equal measure surprised and delighted by the results!  

Yay, Me!!!

Much as I believe that I’m on the path to greater understanding in so many things, I also know that true learning takes time. I've dedicated years to developing old beliefs and behaviours; integrating new ones into my existing "internal landscape" may be desirable but that doesn't guarantee a smooth transition. And yet, 

I feel impatient to fully grasp all the lessons that are being presented to me, 
these precious "snowflakes" that are dancing all around me...

...French, piano, relationships with friends and family, and knowing me better! However, one of my lessons is also to be patient with myself and others, things will work out in time. Just breathe.

  RESPIRE.

And finally, I’m learning the value of being open to people, truly open...

I thought I had been open and true, but in fact I had built a “protective wall” around myself with the idea of limiting the hurt of judgment (real or perceived.) In reality, I was just keeping people out, isolating myself despite my desire for closeness. 

Here, in Quebec, I've experienced how full life can be when you open yourself up to others! Friends and strangers alike have opened their hearts to me and my family in countless acts of kindness, offering generosity, encouragement and care.  

The people of Granby have greatly enriched my life: 

 from my inspiring French teachers and classmates, 

to my supportive hairstylist and favourite restaurant staff, 

to my warm-hearted piano teacher who looks out for me in so many ways, 

to the amazing couple who invited us to their home for dinner simply because they appreciated our cross-cultural journey. 

And of course, our dear friends, Josée and Pascal, 

who treat us like family, including us in their lives without a moment's hesitation. 

I am so humbled by the power of human kindness.

 People are truly the richness of life!

So here I am. Right now, in this moment, watching the snowflakes fall, feeling them drifting down on me (though I’m inside as I write.) I feel stronger for my experiences. Grateful. I feel the “gathered-up power” that they have bestowed upon me. And, at the same time, I feel a calm in my heart enveloping me… like a lovely, gentle, blanket of snow.